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For many women, leaking during their period is one of the most embarrassing things that can happen at work. Spilling coffee on yourself is unfortunate, but a stain that reveals you’re on your period feels like a nightmare. Why is this so challenging when half the world’s population experiences it?
I spoke with Paula Kragten, publisher of the online magazine Period! and author of Red is Not Embarrassing, about leaking at work. Why is it such a taboo? How can we address it in the workplace, and why is menstrual shame not just a women’s issue?
Screaming in the bathroom
I was thirteen when I first got my period. It feels like it was yesterday. I came home from school and saw a red stain in my underwear for the first time. My mother had told me about periods and the products that go with them early on, so I knew what to do. For the first time, I opened the beige toiletries bag she’d given me. Still, I let out a scream. My brother, who was watching TV, asked what was going on. Confused, I explained. My mother told me I had “become a woman.”
That evening, my father came home with a cake and a big smile to congratulate me. I wasn’t sure what to think about it. Was I being congratulated on the fact that I’d be dealing with cramps and blood every month for the next forty years?
Leaking as a child
I’d always heard that a period lasts a few days, but that wasn’t the case for me. Each month, I bled heavily for over two weeks. At school, I used large pads and, given the circumstances, soon had to start using tampons too. I slept on towels at night, though they often weren’t enough to prevent leaks. It wasn’t pleasant, but my embarrassment quickly faded. My mother, who had to wash the sheets regularly, mostly felt bad for me because I suffered so much.
Until that one day at school. We had a two-hour lesson, and halfway through, I needed to change. I raised my hand to ask the teacher for permission to go to the bathroom, but he refused, saying I’d have to wait until he was finished. As he continued talking, I started to sweat. I had to use the bathroom every hour and knew this couldn’t wait any longer.
Finally, fifteen minutes later, I was allowed to go. When I stood up, my classmates whispered. I turned around and saw my friends subtly pointing at my pants. I wished the ground would swallow me up—I’d leaked on my light-blue, shiny pants. My favorite pants, which I quickly had to say goodbye to. After that day, I wore black pants for half of each month to hide any possible stains. I never wanted to feel that shame again.
Why leaking at work is such a huge taboo
“Shame around menstruation started thousands of years ago due to fear,” explains menstrual expert Paula Kragten. “People didn’t understand menstruation and assumed it was a form of detoxification. And people avoided anything toxic. Even after discovering that menstruation is part of the reproductive process, it remained a taboo topic. And we’re still stuck in that mindset.”
Kragten believes the taboo around menstruation must end now. “There’s simply not enough discussion about it. And when women struggle with severe symptoms, people assume it ‘just comes with the territory.’ But one in five women between 35 and 55 suffer from heavy menstrual bleeding (also known as menorrhagia), affecting around half a million women in the Netherlands.
Many women only go to the doctor when they’re completely overwhelmed, perhaps missing work or spending days sick in bed. This can impact their work. But these cases are often medical issues with possible treatments. Women just need to seek help to understand what’s causing the problem.”
Blood serious campaign
To raise awareness about heavy periods, the (Dutch) national campaign “Blood Serious” was held in November 2022, with online and physical events.
Kragten, who works on the campaign, emphasizes that heavy menstruation greatly impacts work life. “Women who bleed heavily constantly fear leaks. They bring extra underwear, pants, tampons, and pads to work, hiding everything away. A tampon or pad on the desk feels embarrassing. And if they do leak, they try to cover it up however they can—with scarves, long cardigans, or black pants.
Some women need to use the restroom every hour. For doctors or swimming instructors, that’s not always feasible. And wearing white work clothing, as in healthcare, makes a leak even more visible. This leads to constant stress.
Additionally, many women experience cramps and headaches, and their periods control their lives, especially at work. Leaking at home may be less dramatic, but at work, it’s highly stressful.”
Times are changing
Thankfully, times are changing, and we’re seeing more positive portrayals of menstrual products in advertisements. According to Kragten, this shift comes from society, not the companies promoting these products. “In the past, tampon and pad ads were all about hiding your period. They showed you could play sports or ride horses without anyone noticing. The message was that you could do anything, even while menstruating.”
But now, people don’t want to pretend they can do it all during their periods. Companies have adapted, and we now see ads that focus on period acceptance, showing things like cramps and menstrual blood, which was once represented by blue liquid. Now people want realistic images.
Products have also improved significantly in recent years. Pads have become thinner, and alternatives like menstrual cups and period underwear are now available.
What employers can do
Despite more realistic ads and better products, menstruation remains a taboo, causing heavily menstruating women stress at work. How can we address this in the workplace and perhaps even break the taboo? According to Paula Kragten, it’s possible if colleagues and employers approach it with awareness.
“Women need to show more understanding toward one another. If a colleague feels sick due to her period, people often brush it off, thinking it’s ‘just normal’ and that she shouldn’t make a fuss. But by asking what’s wrong and suggesting she sees a doctor, you acknowledge the problem and offer a solution.
Employers can also play an essential role by, for example, providing tampons and pads in bathrooms and communicating clearly that these are available. It’s a simple way to reduce stress for heavily menstruating women, making them feel heard and valued in the company.”
Open and respectful communication
In addition to practical steps, Kragten believes it’s crucial that employers avoid reinforcing the taboo. “Make menstruation discussable and seek solutions together with employees. Nike, for example, allows women to work from home when they have their period, creating a more open and relaxed work environment. I understand this isn’t feasible for every job, but it does show respect for employee needs.”
Respectful handling of menstruation is essential. Kragten recalls an incident years ago when Lidl in Germany made female employees wear a headband when menstruating so they could access the restroom freely, while other employees could only go during breaks. This policy, which was quickly abandoned, created a negative atmosphere.
It’s not just about women
Open communication at work is essential, but according to Kragten, it should start even earlier. “Biology in school often focuses on reproduction, with hardly any discussion about menstruation. When it is discussed, it’s usually directed only at girls.”
Research shows that boys know little about menstruation and often talk about it negatively, sometimes influenced by male teachers who make jokes. Dutch boys have a more negative view of menstruation compared to boys in other countries, which is perpetuated by such jokes.
But this issue isn’t only about women. Men will interact with menstruating women throughout their lives, both at home and at work. When men hold leadership roles, it’s important to recognize that menstruation affects women’s performance, and not only on the few days per year they might call in sick. The hormonal cycle can influence women’s performance and creativity at other times as well.
Heavy periods and leaks aren’t just ‘women’s issues.’ They are societal issues that need to be discussed and addressed openly.”